May 2, 2005

• "Untitled"

  
  

  Change will come as surely as the seasons, and twice as quick. We make our peace with it as best we can... Or as Amy once said when she was still a little girl, "We'll all grow up someday, we might as well know what we want."
  -Jo, from the movie Little Women

  
  

  What can I say? Life is going. Not really good, not really bad, just going. My head whirls at how quickly it passes.

  
  

  I'm into a routine now with the third shift schedule and I really like it. Except instead of working 11-8 they changed my hours to 10-7. Doesn't matter to me, same difference.  The last few days of last week I did not write much, but nothing really was going on just working, sleeping, and taking life easy. There is a lot going on at work, but I will save that for some other entry.

  
  

  Saturday morning, after I got off work I stay up late (ha ha!) and my Dad helped me take some old furniture into Bear Market. I'm trying to sell my old green chair, because Megan has a chair and a really nice couch for the apartment so we won't need my old ugly chair, or have space for it so I might as well make some money off of it. I also took in my roll top desk. That desk was so big and so old, it really was not computer compatible. I found a desk at Wal-mart that will fit my computer better, is smaller and much more modern looking. I'm hoping to get enough money off of the furniture to pay for the desk. I'm also going to take in some old savings bonds from when I was a kid, and buy myself a dresser that I also picked out at Wal-Mart. So that should work out smooth, it won't strap me too much. Manipulating money and finances, that's what it's all about my friends. Anyway, without my desk in my room, my computer is all packed up. Dad said he could hook it up on an end table for me the next few weeks, but I told him that's ok I'll live. I am going through major withdrawals now though. I have to use my Dad's computer for the next few weeks, and it's a nice computer, but it's not mine. Cry me a river, listen to me I'm so spoiled. Most of the world doesn't even own a computer, or a car, a TV, or a running toilet.

  
  

  At work Saturday night I saw Michael. He told me him and Bec changed the wedding date from Aug, to June 25th. Then he told me he was moving to Jefferson City, after church on Sunday, and updated me a little on whats up with him. I congratulated him. He asked if I was gearing up to go overseas, and I was like, "Actually, I'm not going anymore." Then I briefly, debriefed him on all the changes in my life. He told me that he knows I'm a hard worker, and he doesn't ever see me not doing anything, so he knows whatever I end up doing I'll always be successful at and blessed. Why does he have to be so nice all of the time? If he were a jerk, just once then I could get mad and no big deal. It occurred to me that, that was sort of like our unofficial good-bye. That is probley the last time I will ever really talk with him, even if I do see him from time to time. Overall, I'm really glad to be able to finally put that all behind me, forget about it, and move forward. I don't know Bec very well, but I really like her, and I'm happy they are happy. From a friend to a friend, I really care about them.

  
  

  Sunday morning rolled around, and I headed from work to church. (OK, I had time to  stop home and shower in between, but that doesn't matter.) Church was different, a lot of people were gone because they were sick, and it is getting to be the summertime season. Yesterday was also a good-bye for Tim as he is moving to St. Louis to live with his sister for awhile. He promised Megan and I he will come back to visit, and crash at our place. Jason also leaves to go back to Alaska on Tuesday, so who knows how long it will be before he is back to visit again? I really hate good-byes and letting go.

  
  

  On the flip side, people are also come into and back into my life. Cindy P said yesterday that her sister Brandi is going to be moving back here. She was fun to spend time with, and needs good influences and support around her. I like Brandi, I have missed her a lot since she left after Christmas. My friends Brian and Carrie from high school, (the ones who got married last summer and ended up moving back to the lake from Springfield) I've gotten to see more and more of. Brian works at Wal-Mart so he stops and talks to me every night before he leaves, and I get to see Carrie all the time with him too. Plus the apartment I will be moving into is just down the street from Brian and Carrie's place. Now we will be neighbors and there will be no excuse for me not spending time with Carrie. They are very fun people to be around. Also at church yesterday morning, I spent some time talking with a couple who have been going there almost a year. I've known who they are and they have known me, but I have never made the point to really talk with them, and I was so glad that I did!! I would like to get to know them better. How could I have went almost a year without doing that?? I'm so self-fish sometimes.

  
  

  So to continue with my day Sunday... Church was different, like I said. Communion was cool, the message was a reminder that salvation is a gift, something we can never earn or obtain by our own works. A message I need to reflect on more often, just learning to rest in the Lord and His mercy. Then there was a mix up with my Sunday school class, who was teaching today. The teacher who was scheduled forgot, and so Leigh came and got me. She helped me improve and whip together a lesson as we went a long. So we made the lesson about Jesus being a healer. I was proud that it wasn't massive chaos and everything came together so smoothly. But I was amazed that the kids seemed to grasp yesterdays message and class better than they sometimes do when I spend several hours planning and preparing. That is a God thing, keeping me humble! One of the 5 year old boys in my class started telling me about this nightmare he had that he was in a really big Wal-Mart and there were police and big fences surrounding it, and he could not get outside and he could not find his family. Poor Kid!! I got a good laugh out of the concept of Wal-Mart giving a 5 year old a nightmare like that. I tried to imagine how big our new Wal-Mart Supercenter must be in the eyes of a little kid, from a rural area. Wow. 

  
  

  No one was around to go to Taco Bell and so I came home. I rested and watched the movie Little Women. When I was about 10, 11, and even 12 years old I really liked the story and the movie, but I never really got it. Years have went by and I have forgotten it so when I watched it yesterday I saw it in an entirely different way. I cried through almost the whole movie because I felt like I could relate to it so much. I saw so much depth in it that I had missed as a child. Every character and situation I could relate to and feel for in some way. It was all about growing up, and dealing with what life hands you, and choosing what you really want out of your life, etc. It was so very true to life. Wow! Great movie!! I really appreciated it. It was just the right thing for me to watch at just the right time in my life. I know I will be thinking to that movie for the next few weeks and relating things.

  
  

  After my movie I sat outside with my parents and we drank wine coolers. It was a nice day out! Dad had just finished mowing the lawn, and Mom was doing little things around the back yard like putting out food for the birds and squirls. My parents are cute.

  
  

  Young Adults was canceled, and Pastor Mike and Molly were having a bon-fire at their house for the youth group but it was open for the whole church. So I went out there. It was a perfect night for a bon-fire. I ate s'mores like they were going out of style. Yummy! First ones of the year! It made me feel really good to spend time being with everyone. Sometimes it is good for me when a lot of the young adults aren't around, such as yesterday because it forces me into getting to know other people outside of my group and breaking my routines. Yesterday was a case of that.

  
  

  After a few hours there I was getting really tired from being up all day. I was off of work last night, so I came home and went to bed about 8:30. I woke up at 5:30 this morning. Weird. I'm off of work again tonight so I can stay up today too. I think on my agenda for today will be sanding the paint off of my old white bookshelf and then painting it a boy-scout green color. I want to have that done before I move.

  
  

  Later Gators.

  • 8:30 am
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