October 26, 2008

• Re-Evaluating

       Every now and then, there are moments in our lives that cause us to stop dead in our tracks, and reevaluate. That was my weekend, a reevaluation. Yesterday was a weird day.
        I started off with my scare of someone trying to break into the house. I talked to my Dad, and even though he is so many miles away and really couldn't do anything, I felt so much better and safer talking to him. He was concerned to hear that and said he will put in motion detection porch lights when he comes up for Thanksgiving weekend. Dad is my hero!!
        I went to get an early start on my day and rake the yard. My brother Byron had stolen the rake. I was so mad. I had to go and buy a new one. I enjoyed raking, it is peaceful and makes me think. it was a perfect fall day and the exercise was good. I'm sure it will need to be raked again in another week. lol.
         Tom randomly called me before he left for work. He said he wanted to ask me out for the night, so I said sure, that I would like that. Then, much to my surprise he proceeded to tell me that he was really sorry for everything he had put me through in the past. He told me he had realized how much he missed me, and he has absolutely nothing to offer me, but he doesn't want to be with out me. He told me I had always treated him with unconditional kindness even when things were crappy between us, and I broke through to him on an emotional level he had not let anyone touch. He told me the way I cared for him made him feel a sense of self worth he did not think he had anymore. He told me he had come to realize that for the first time in a long time, I am the first thing that has made him not want to work all the time to escape reality, that I am what makes reality worth facing. He told me he REALLY cares about me. It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me before. I almost cried. I told him I had been missing him too. We agreed that we really can't say if a relationship will ever really work out or be right for us, but we don't want to be without each other, so for now we just are with no titles and no worries and we can cross those bridges when we get there. We simply know we want each other in our lives.
           I spent my afternoon running errands and visiting a few people. My Aunt Janet dumped my little cousins Sue Ellen and Kimmie off for my Grandma to babysit, without even asking my Grandma if she wanted too. Grandma doesn't like kids, and neither do I. I'm mean, I selfishly hid in my room watching a movie instead of giving my little cousins attention. I really thought it was rude of my aunt though. The past several months Aunt Janet has been doing so many little things to get under my skin. Shes a case. Anyway, I ended up escaping and meeting up with Tom.
        Tom took me out for dinner and then we decided to rent a few movies and go back to his place to watch them. We watched Pet Cemetery, I had not seen that movie since I was a kid, and I remember it being the scariest movie I have ever seen, I watched it again for the first time since i was 8 and the movie STILL to this day scared the hell out of me! We also watched The Eye, because I had really been wanting to see it. It was really disappointing, it wasn't scary, mostly just suspenseful and the plot line was really slow and dragged out. I tried to convince Tom we should carve pumpkins, but he thought that was silly. I had so much FUN last night with Tom. I had forgotten how comfortable I am around him. I never have to make an effort to have fun or be witty, it just comes natural. I never have to worry about what to say or saying the right or wrong things around him, and we never seem to run out of things to talk about. We laughed quite hard last night as we recapped funny stories from the past couple months that the other had missed, and caught up with each other. And yeah, how 'bout that makeup sex? lol. It was a very good night. I can't wait for Halloween with him!
        This morning I slept in late. I wanted to go to church, but my Grandma needed a ride to her church instead. So I stayed home from church so I could drive Grandma. I had a lot I wanted to get done today, like get an oil change, but instead I simply did nothing around the house here. It has been a very cozy day. It is CRAZY windy, but I think it is great!
       So yes, my weekend was very unexpected. And I am very happy. Now it's Sunday night and time for me to start gearing up for a new weeks ahead. I have high hopes.
  

  • 6:04 pm
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